The STF Tournament
by Justin Competent
Summary: Mr. Showtime's reality show-based tournament is finally updated! After what seemed like endless weeks, it has been decided what would be used for round one, the Hyrule Battle Royal! Who will be the first to get eliminated?
1. Introduction to the 'Meleers'

Disclaimer:  
  
Most characters represented here belong either to Nintendo or Rare. Mr. Showtime was originally conceived by Acclaim, but his personality belongs to me. Godzilla originated somewhere in Japan and I don't know who owns him, and Sigmund Freud was a real-life shrink. The rest should belong to me, and if it doesn't, well, deal with it.  
  
Author's note:  
  
My first fanfic. Not very professionally done, but I'll learn with experience. I appreciate all advice to become a better writer.  
  
Warning:  
  
If you don't like reality-game shows with egotistical hosts, leave now! This is based off of Survivor, Tough Enough, and Fear Factor, and any other reality show where people compete in events and get kicked off one-by-one.  
  
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Episode 1: The Introduction to the 'Meleers'.  
  
*The camera zooms onto an empty island barren with exception of a grinning man with an expensive shirt, and 25 familiar competitors.*  
  
Showtime: Welcome to the STF Tournament featuring the SSB Meleers! Your host for the evening, and rest of the season, is none other than Mr. Showtime. Mr. Showtime is pleased to be here to announce this show. How does this show work? Well, 25 Meleers enter this tournament, and only one survives! They all compete in a different challenge, and whoever gets last place, is kicked off for good! The challenges are chosen by none other than… the reviewers! With that said, Mr. Showtime will introduce the Meleers who will compete.  
  
*The camera flies around to reveal all of the contestants.*  
  
Showtime: First, the official mascot of Nintendo. From the Mushroom Kingdom, the pudgy plumber, veteran of jumping on heads, the kart-racer supreme, the heartiest-partier, Mario!  
  
*Mario does his trademark star dance.*  
  
Mario: Here we go! It's-a me, Mario! I'm-a gonna win!  
  
Showtime: Sure you are. Next up, from Kongo Jungle, the king of swing, the thrilla gorilla, the prime primate, Donkey Kong!  
  
*DK starts beating his chest.*  
  
DK: Grunt! Growl snort rant grunt!  
  
Showtime: Well, those are well chosen words, Donkey.  
  
DK: OOGA! BOOGA!  
  
Showtime: Yeese! Next, from the lovely kingdom of Hyrule, the elfen wonder, the skirt-wearing swordsman, the Hero of Time, Link!  
  
*Link swings and twirls his sword before he sheaths it.*  
  
Link: Thank you all very much. By the way, it's not a skirt; it's a tunic.  
  
Showtime: That's what they all say. Next up, from parts unknown, he has to be the toughest bounty hunter this galaxy has ever known, Samus Aran!  
  
*Samus punches and shoots her flame-thrower.*  
  
Samus: Thanks for your help, Showtime, but I'm a girl.  
  
Showtime: Whoa! You're a chick! Wow!  
  
Samus: That's what they said back in the '80s.  
  
Showtime: Whatever. Next, we got perhaps the most stomach-churning cute dinosaurs ever to disgrace the universe. From Yoshi's Island, the scaly wonder, Yoshi!  
  
*Yoshi punches and kicks, and he turns away from the camera.*  
  
Showtime: Uhh… Yoshi, don't you got something to say?  
  
Yoshi: Yayyyy! At the airport!  
  
Showtime: What the @*%&! Mr. Showtime guesses he has to get a human-yoshi translator. Next up, hailing from Pop Star, the pink power ball, the 8-inch wonder, Mr. Showtime almost stepped on him on the way here, Kirby!  
  
*Kirby dances in which he jumps, slides, and twirls.*  
  
Kirby: Hiii! I'm Kirby! I'm gonna do this!  
  
Showtime: Right. Now we have the leader of the mercenary group, Star Fox. From the Lylat System, the furry hero, Fox McCloud!  
  
*Fox crosses his arms and sticks his tail up.*  
  
Fox: Mission Complete! You know, I dedicate my performance in this tournament to my dad James McCloud. He was…  
  
Showtime: Hey, we don't need a life story! Next, from a Pokecenter near you, cute, cuddly Pokemon number 25, Pikachu!  
  
*Pikachu was busy taking a nap.*  
  
Showtime: How cute. Now we have another Pokecenter favorite, the puffpall supreme, Jigglypuff!  
  
*Jigglypuff was also sleeping, but wakes up.*  
  
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff! Jiggly! Jiggly. Puff jiggly jig puff!  
  
Showtime: Uhh… Okay! Next up, we got the baddest racer in the galaxy. We got the, man, the myth, the legend, the Captain Falcon!  
  
*C.Faclon tenses up and does a spinning kick.*  
  
C.Falcon: Yeah! I'm Cap'n Falcon! You will respect my authorit-ay, or pay the conse-quence!  
  
Showtime: Hey, Cartman, shut up! Next, Mr. Showtime is honored to announce the younger brother of Mario, Luigi!  
  
*Luigi punches like a madman and bends over.*  
  
Luigi: Woo! I'm-a Luigi, numb-a one! You know that-a Luigi is definate-a-ly the sleeper.  
  
*Everybody looks at Luigi, then they look at Pikachu, still napping.*  
  
Showtime: No, Pikachu is the sleeper. Next, we got the boy genius from Onett, Ness!  
  
*Ness swings his bat around and points the fence.*  
  
Showtime: Next up, we definitely got Dr. Death with us tonight, because we got Dr. Mario!  
  
*Dr. Mario starts aiming his stethoscope at everyone. Everybody but napping Pikachu backs away.*  
  
Showtime: Whoa! Doctor, you're scaring Mr. Showtime! Next up is one of Mr. Showtime's personal favorites to win. Please welcome the King of the Koopas, Bowser!  
  
*Bowser slashes twice*  
  
Bowser: Roaaaaaaaaar!  
  
Showtime: That was deep, wasn't it, folks. Next, we got another woman in a man's sport. We got the kart-racing, golf-and-tennis playing, vegetable- throwing, floating Princess Peach!  
  
*Peach swings her arm around.*  
  
Peach: This is fun! Peach should be in more tournaments!  
  
Showtime: Yeah, tournaments Mr. Showtime is not involved in. Now, Mr. Showtime is pleased to bring you, the king of the Gerudos, the great Ganondorf!  
  
*Ganondorf hits his fist in his other hand then swings it around and poses.*  
  
Ganondorf: Heh, heh, heh… The almighty Ganondorf is here for payback.  
  
Showtime: First, you have to payback the 50 bucks you owe Mr. Showtime, Ganondorf.  
  
Ganondorf: Grrrr… If you didn't have immunity right now, I'd tear you a new starfish!  
  
Showtime: Ooo… scary. Now it is time for one of the greatest fighter pilots in history, the baddest bluebird in town, Falco Lombardi!  
  
*Falco folds his arms and says a few kind words.*  
  
Falco: Arrgh! Make the pain stop! It's killing me!  
  
Showtime: WTF are you screaming about, Falco?  
  
Falco: Aaa! He's doing it again! Stoppit! Please stoppit!  
  
Showtime: The rod up your butt must have a rod up its butt, Falco.  
  
Falco: I'd have something to say, but right now I'm being bored right out of my skull!  
  
Showtime: Are you suggesting to Mr. Showtime that he's not a good broadcaster?  
  
Falco: Congratulations, your brain still works.  
  
Showtime: Why you little…  
  
**************************************************************************** **********************************************  
  
HAL: Sorry, we are experiencing some technical difficulties at this point. Meanwhile, please enjoy the 50's movie, Godzilla meets Sigmund Freud.  
  
Freud: So Godzilla, what seems to be your problem?  
  
Godzilla: Roaaaaar!  
  
Freud: What was that? Nobody seems to understand you?  
  
Godzilla: Roaaaar!  
  
Freud: Hmm… maybe the fact that you eat people and destroy their buildings might be the source of trouble in your social life.  
  
Godzilla: Roar?  
  
Freud: Exactly! That is why nobody likes you. That is why…*Gulp*  
  
Godzilla roared again and ate Sigmund Freud.  
  
The End  
  
**************************************************************************** **********************************************  
  
*The scene returns to the island with Mr. Showtime beat up and Falco standing in the crowd smiling.*  
  
Showtime: Dang bird! Mr. Showtime'll get you for this! Well, next up we got the two eggplant-eating, mountain climbing, has-been heroes, Nana and Popo, the Ice Climbers!  
  
*The Ice Climbers jumps up and down.*  
  
Popo: It feels good to be back, right Nana?  
  
Nana: Yes it does.  
  
Showtime: Mr. Showtime wonders what it would feel like to get kicked out again. Next up, another girl? Geez, this is too much to handle! -Whew- we got the crossdressing princess of Hyrule, Zelda.  
  
*Zelda looks to the side and sighs.*  
  
Zelda: I have a feeling that he doesn't like me.  
  
Showtime: Mr. Showtime has a feeling you are right.  
  
Falco: I have a feeling that Mr. Showtime is gay.  
  
Showtime: Why you little…  
  
Shiek: Hey, you two, stop fighting!  
  
Falco: Make me!  
  
Showtime: Shiek? You aren't one of the 25 who joined.  
  
Shiek: Uh… right. See you around.  
  
*Sheik disappears and Zelda sneaks back into the crowd.*  
  
Showtime: That was strange. Next we got, Link again?  
  
*Young Link sheaths his sword and brushes off his hands.*  
  
Y.Link: Yes, I'm Link, but his younger, more skilled self.  
  
Showtime: Mr. Showtime would say you're too young, but Ness proved him wrong.  
  
Y.Link: Yeah, some might say I'm the missing Link.  
  
Showtime: Darn puns, darn them to Hades. Next we got, Pikachu's little brother, Pichu.  
  
*Pichu spins around and clicks his heels.*  
  
Pichu: Pichu! Pi! Pi pichu chu. Chu pi!  
  
Showtime: These Pokemon are tedious. Finally, we got Mr. Showtime's second pick, the baddest cat in the known universe, Mewtwo!  
  
*Mewtwo spins in the air.*  
  
Mewtwo: Pathetic, just pathetic. Kissing my but because he knows I'll soon be exterminating his species.  
  
Showtime: On second thought, Ganondorf is Mr. Showtime's second favorite pick. Now we got the one that started them all, and the original Nintendo hero. His multiple roles make Mario look like an amateur, and Mr. Showtime is really honored to be announcing his presence. Please welcome, from Flatland, the baddest stickman of them all, Mr. Game&Watch!  
  
*Mr. Game&Watch rings his bell like a madman.*  
  
GnW: Beep! Beep! Click Buzz Beep!  
  
Showtime: Uh… pleased to meet you too. And for the final two late entries; imported from Japan, from who knows where, the swordsmen, Marth and Roy!  
  
*Marth unsheathes his sword, spins it around and swings it down to his side. Roy slashes his sword out then up and around.*  
  
Marth: Boku wa makeru wake-ni wa ikanainda!  
  
Roy: Shin no tatakai wa... korekare da!  
  
Showtime: Well, that is interesting to know. Now that you all know who is in this tournament, it can begin. The only trouble is, that Mr. Showtime doesn't know what the first challenge is. Please send us your suggestions through either a review or at yuffie91@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next episode of, the SSBM STF Tournament. See you whenever the writer feels like updating. 


	2. The Hyrule Battle Royal

Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I do not own most of these characters. The name Mr. Showtime belongs to Acclaim/Iguana, but the rest of him belongs to me.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long, but I've finally updated. It was a pain to decide what to do for the first round.  
  
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Episode 2: The Hyrule Battle Royal  
  
*The camera pans around Hyrule until it zooms onto the regal-looking castle with all 25 of the Smashers on top. It pans around some more to show Mr. Showtime sitting on the throne looking dorky with a cape, septer, and lop-sided crown.*  
  
Showtime: Well this is the Hyrule Castle Battle Royal that one dude asked for. The rules have been changed a little bit, and they are pretty easy to remember. When the bell sounds, all 25 Meleers rush forth and and start pummeling each other. One by one, they eliminate each other until two are left. The last one eliminated is gone for good, not to participate in the STF tournament again. To make sure that people don't eliminate themselves to prevent from being kicked out, the winner of the battle royal gets immunity for round 2. Are the Meleers ready?  
  
Link: This isn't Hyrule Castle.  
  
Zelda: I know, this isn't my castle. Mine was bigger.  
  
Showtime: Hey, the brochure said 'Hyrule Castle' in big bold letters.  
  
Y. Link: This castle does look familiar.  
  
Link: Now that you said it, that does look familiar.  
  
Zelda: I wouldn't know.  
  
Ganondorf: I've seen that castle before.  
  
Tingle: Tingle, Tingle! Kaloo-Limpa!  
  
Y. Link: Who invited him to the party?  
  
Tingle: Tingle invited himself!  
  
DK: Donkey Smash!  
  
*Donkey Kong picks up Tingle and tosses him into the Lost Woods.*  
  
Link: Thanks, DK.  
  
DK: No problem!  
  
Ganondorf: If you all quit bickering, I'll tell you who's castle this is. This is Hyrule Castle.  
  
Zelda: It's not my castle.  
  
Ganondorf: True, but this is still Hyrule Castle. The castle you have, Zelda, is from Orcarina of Time. This castle is the castle from Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.  
  
Y. Link: That's where I've seen it before!  
  
Showtime: Is every F'n Meleer ready for the dang battle royal?!  
  
Everybody but Ness: Yes  
  
Ness: No.  
  
Showtime: What is your problem?  
  
Ness: I have to use the bathroom.  
  
*Ness runs into the castle. 2 minutes later he returns*  
  
Showtime: Okay, now is everybody ready?  
  
Everybody: Yes!  
  
Showtime: Then let's get ready to rumble!  
  
****The Hyrule Battle Royal begins****  
  
*The bell rings and immediatly Captain Falcon throws a Falcon Punch blindly into the crowd of fighter. The attack hurts Samus, Zelda, and Yoshi, while Dr. Mario took most of the impact and goes flying into the moat, getting eliminated. Marth was fending off a double-team from Pikachu and Falco. Luigi and Pichu trade blows. Roy was swordfighting with Link when Peach snuck up from behind and hit him with a tennis racket, getting him wet and eliminated. Mewtwo let loose a Shadow Ball that flew randomly threw the crowd, striking Nana, seperating Popo from his partner. The enraged Ice Climber swung wildly at the genetic freak, backing him up until he finally fell into the drink. After eliminating Mewtwo, Popo was so close to the edge that it was easy for Ganondorf to sneak up and eliminate him with a roundhouse. Zelda transformed into Shiek and tossed a bunch of Needles into an unsuspecting Jigglypuff, sending her near the moat. Jigglypuff was flying back to safety when Young Link shot a Fire Arrow at her, thus, sending in the Poke-puffball into the drink. Pikachu called down Thunder, knocking Luigi off his feet and sending Marth out of the fray. Samus charged her gun and shot into the crowd, directly striking Bowser, where he just tumbled near the edge, but he got up and just waltzed on back into the fray. The blast gave Donkey Kong time to charge up his Giant Punch and sneak behind the distracted bounty hunter to eliminate her. Falco then charged threw the big ape with the Fire Falcon with that eliminating DK. Mario threw a wild roundhouse, knocking Shiek, Kirby, and Mr. Game&Watch off thier feet, and sending the heavily-damaged Link off the stage. Ganondorf suffered a cheap loss when Yoshi swallowed him and the egg just rolled off into the moat. Pichu charged up his Skull Bash aimed at Fox, but the nimble pilot moved out of the way, thus Pichu just shot off harmlessly into the water. Peach's turn was up when Falco blindsided her when she was battling Bowser. Mario did a Mario Tornado, sucking in Young Link, Pikachu, Mr. Game&Watch, Bowser, and Captain Falcon, while eliminating Yoshi and Ness. The battle slowed down, with Captain Falcon eventually getting elimiated by a throw by Fox. Mr. Game&Watch flew into the drink when Kirby transformed into a Thwomp. Zelda hit a strong Smash attack sending Fox off the stage. Zelda transformed into Shiek again, but a well-timed and well-aimed Skull Bash by Pikachu slowed down her assault to hault as she flew off into the water. Luigi eventually tossed Falco Lombardi out of the castle. Kirby's luck ran out when he recieved a nasty Mario roundhouse. Bowser knocked Young Link and Pikachu out with a well-aimed Bowser Bomb. Then it got interesting as the final three is Luigi, Mario, and Bowser. Mario and Luigi start the double team on the big Koopa king. Bowser did the best to fend off the Mario brothers, but the attack was almost too fierce for him. But Luigi was knocked out when Bowser jumped up for a Whirling Fortress. This leaves it down to Bowser and Mario. It looked like Bowser might finally win when history repeated itself when Mario grabbed the giant Koopa by the tail, swung him around, and tossed him out of the arena.*  
  
****The Hyrule Battle Royal ends****  
  
Showtime: Well, this is definately interesting. Mario is declared the winner! Mr. Showtime's favorite to win the tournament, Bowser, gets eliminated in the first round. Don't worry folks. Bowser is not gone for good. He will make a guest appearance, where you get to interrogate him and Mr. Showtime in an 'Ask the Smashers' style. Just remeber, Bowser will not be in a good mood after his big loss, and please keep the questions relevant. For example, none of that 'what is your favorite baseball team' crap. Sorry, but it's to save time and space. And keep suggesting events! See ya next time on, the STF Tournament! 


End file.
